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This menu is to help avoid the pitfalls of a blind or arranged date.   Whether you are a new first timer, an experienced second timer, or even a third timer, this information should be helpful.

Appetizer

First step, you must google him.  If you have his business card, that will help.  If he uses a middle initial or has a title, that will save time.  If you do not have his card, be prepared to spend a few minutes discovering his profile.  This is important, especially on an arranged date or first meeting.  If this is someone you work with, be especially careful and very discrete.

Second step, check out the location.  If you are going to lunch or dinner, you must research the restaurant on the internet.  If a dinner date, be sure to confirm if alcohol is served or is it BYOB.  This will eliminate an awkward situation, especially if it’s BYOB.  You can call him and confirm the date.  You could ask if it’s okay for you to bring the bottle or would he prefer to make a selection.

Third step, check out the menu.  If you have a restricted diet, be sure the restaurant offers something you can eat.  Don’t be afraid to call and ask questions of the staff before you arrive.  Staffers are very helpful; in addition, most restaurants have a sample menu on their website.  You may also want to read the reviews, especially the selections to avoid.

Fourth step, know the dress code for the evening, especially if you going from a restaurant to a movie.  You may be comfortable during dinner and then freeze your assets off at the movies.  If you are going from dinner to dancing, you want to know that in advance, especially for your shoe selection.  The right heel is important.  If he is showcasing you to his friends, try to find this out before time.  You have only one chance to make a first impression.

Entrée

During dinner you have expectations and hope that he meets at least one.  That will ensure a second meeting if you so desire.

You may hope for the following:

1.  A person who is polite.  This may seem old fashioned but a sense of mutual respect would be nice.
2. Someone with a sense of humor, not uptight or nervous.  The evening is for enjoyment, not a walk across a minefield.
3. A person who talks about subjects in which you may have interest.  Guys talk about sports, food and beer.  Don’t expect too much after those subjects unless it’s the movies, the stock market and the weather.  You can help guide the conversation, but stay away from politics.
4. A person who asks you about yourself, your hobbies, your goals and dreams.  This may be too much information on a first date, so give a little insight but don’t ramble about yourself.  Seek to find out what you have in common especially if you like sports.

What you don’t want or expect:

1.  A proposition, if that is the game plan, please call a time out.  You may want to have a headache and leave early.  Be sure to destroy his business card and change your e-mail address.
2. Stories of past loves, girlfriends or marriages.  Crude jokes or stories about any subject that he calls to mind.  If he wants to talk about his children, be tolerant but don’t let that conversation dominate the evening, unless you really, really want to know the name of the kid’s turtle or favorite pop star.
3. A jealousy discussion about his job or friends or whining about what could have been.  A person who sees life as a burden and that the glass is half empty should be avoided.  If he talks about his brothers and sisters that’s okay but not if it’s negative stories about infighting.  You don’t want to become part of a family feud.

Dessert

The duration of the date or first meeting is not relevant when evaluating how you spent your time.

You should hope for the following:

1. You felt comfortable and would like to repeat the experience.
2. Your new friend is someone you could introduce to your best friend.
3. You would consider a second date.   You could agree after you check your calendar, but a second meeting is not guaranteed.
4.  That you could pick the time and place for a second date.
5. You mutually agree to exchange business cards, phone numbers or e-mail addresses.
6. You part with a handshake or hug and a smile.  He volunteers to walk you to your car, drive you to your residence or pays for a cab.

You don’t want the following:

1.  A proposition to join him at a conference in Reno.
2. The feeling that he gave you a break by taking you out on the town.  He did you a favor.  You looked desperate.
3. A person who is evasive to commitment, a simple yes or no to your questions is fine.  You can handle either response.
4. Someone who wants to play tonsil hockey, when they depart.

I’m sure there are many things that could be added.  This is just a short menu to dating.  Someone once said ‘better to have dated and lost; then never to have dated” or something like that.  Good luck on your next first meeting or arranged date and please think positive.  You are meant for greatness.